Donna Heilman

Just Cremation

Donna Heilman died in Missoula on October 14, 2023.  On January 4, 1927, she joined the human family in Brush, Colorado, a small, nondescript town on the eastern part of that state. She was the youngest of seven children born to Edward and Mary (Elliott) Dever and one of only three to reach adulthood.
She was descended form immigrants coming to this country seeking a better life in America. On her mother’s side, her first ancestor here was one William Scarborough, a Quaker who came here to escape religious persecution in England. In July, 1682, William bought 250 acres of land in Buck’s county, Pennsylvania from William Penn for five British pounds, and in October of that year he arrived in America with the intention of being an American and practicing his religion as he saw fit.
On her father’s side, she was descended from a John Dever, who became a part of the British Army in order to escape poverty in Northern Ireland. He served under General Braddock in what we Americans call the French and Indian War, Incidentally, another young soldier serving under Braddock in that war was the young George Washington, who was an officer in the American contingent of the British Army. After surviving the slaughter of the British troops by the French and Indians and the death of Braddock, the remaining British troops escaped and hid in the woods. Apparently, our John was one of those who escaped. He stayed in America, married a local girl and eventually served in the Revolutionary War on the American side.
Shortly after Donna was born, the family moved to Tucson, Arizona for her father’s health and after a short stay there, they moved to California in August 1927. She grew up in the Monterey Bay area and later in San Jose. In 1939 when the family moved there the population of San Jose was 50,000.
In1948, she graduated from San Jose State College ( now University) with a bachelors degree in Philosophy. Subsequently, she did graduate work in that same field at Boston University.
Since there was not a great demand for 22 year old female philosophy teachers at that time, in August 1950, she took a job teaching grades 5-8 in one room in Downieville, California, a tiny town in the Gold Rush country of northern California.
In April 1951, she met Ed Heilman, a young forester with the US Forest Service, and they became engaged six weeks later. She liked to tell the story that when he proposed to her, he phrased it by asking if she could stand life in the Forest Service. She wasn’t sure if he was proposing marriage or offering her a job, so she asked him for time to think it over. Two days later when he brought up the question again, she asked if he was proposing marriage. When he replied that he was, she enthusiastically agreed at once.
Ed didn’t want to marry until forest fire season was over, so Donna got a job with Pacific Telephone and Telegraph in San Francisco as a Service Representative. She really liked the job and was     very successful at it but had to quit when she and Ed got married.
The Korean War, which started in 1950, was ongoing and Ed received notice in October 1951 that he was 1A with the draft. Since he had taken ROTC for four years while a student at Montana State    University (now the University of Montana) he sought to have his Reserve Officer status activated. This happened at Hamilton A.F,B. in California with the proviso that he report for active duty at once. At this point, Ed suggested that they wait to marry until he returned from active military duty. Donna’s reply was “Marry me now or forget it.” They were married on November 5, 1951 in San Jose, California.
Two weeks later, Ed reported for active duty at an Air Force base in Texas, where Donna joined him. A few weeks later, he was transferred to Scott A.F.B. in Illinois where he completed a ten month program in electronics. A few weeks later their daughter Anne was born, and two weeks after that, Ed reported to an Air Force Base in Taegu, Korea, where he served as Base Communications Officer. During this period, Donna stayed with her parents in San Jose. When the truce was signed in 1953, Ed returned to Donna, Anne and the Forest Service.
At this point, the little family moved to a number of small lumber towns in Northern California,  wherever the Forest Service sent them: Mt. Shasta, Dunsmuir, Trinity Center and Hayfork. As one might imagine, this was not a fulfilling life for the young philosophy student. However, she did her best to create a happy home for her family.
Soon after, their son, Mark, was born in 1955, the family moved to another tiny town, but this one was on the major U.S. highway just 40 miles east of San Diego. It seemed to good to be true.
A subsequent transfer was to Redding in Northern California, where she was asked to teach History at the high school level and Philosophy in the nearby Community College. This lasted until her husband was transferred to Tucson, Az where she did more graduate work in Philosophy at the University of Arizona.
There followed a subsequent transfer to Milwaukee, Wisconsin. After 4 years there, her husband’s transfer to the Forest Service Regional Office in Missoula in May of 1974 was the beginning of the best years of Donna’s life. Upon her first view of Missoula, Donna fell in love with the town. As they drove through Hellgate Canyon, there were yellow flowers and green grass on the mountain sides and people tubing down the Clark Fork River. From then on, she considered Missoula home.
After settling into their new home and garden, she looked around for something to do. A short notice in the Missoulian said that a group would be meeting at the Fort Missoula property with a view to forming a support group for the fledgling museum. She and Ed arrived at the former C.C.C, building at the appointed time. The result was that Donna ended up as president of the brand new Friends of the Historical Museum. Later, she was asked to serve on the Missoula County Board of Trustees for Museums. At that time, the Art Museum was a county museum, so she resigned from the Friends in order to devote herself to the entire museum organization. She held that position for eleven years until she chose to resign.
Later, she was asked to serve on the Board of the Missoula Symphony Association where she served for several years, receiving recognition for outstanding service.
During this period, she organized and chaired a group that succeeded in getting the overhead power lines put underground in the High Park area of Farviews. Later, she was part of a group that got Whitaker Drive widened and paved. Other community service included preparing and serving food at Poverello and delivering Meals on Wheels. She was a long time member of the University Congregational Church and served on many committees. She sang in the choir, decorated the sanctuary in accordance with the church year and worked in the church garden. When a major rehab was undertaken, she served on the architectural and design committees along with Paul and Ellen De Wolf and Rafael Chacon as well as others. She did fund raising and, with Mike Hardy, she painted the walls in the minister’s office. She even laid sod in the front lawn.
Donna loved to learn and read, and she took great joy in her library of over 2,000 books, most of which dealt with the arts, history, prehistory, religion and world affairs, interspersed with the occasional murder mystery.
Among her other interests, Donna enjoyed gardening and some of her happiest hours were spent in digging and planting and just generally messing around in the dirt. She also found much pleasure in hiking all over Mt. Dean Stone as well as fishing for trout in Kootenai Creek.
Donna also liked to entertain. Once she prepared dinner for 24 people, doing all the work herself. Her family counted on an Easter egg hunt in the backyard followed by a bountiful brunch. Christmas always included champagne, roast pork and her special rum cake, The candle light reflecting off the crystal and silver made for a warm ambiance which was conducive to a pleasant occasion.
Each of these meals was the occasion for the gathering of a diverse group of people. One was a
Roman Catholic, one was a former Roman Catholic, one was an Episcopalian, several were Lutheran, a few were unchurched and one was a Congregationalist. One year the group included a Jewish friend. Each meal was preceded by thanks for the food, the family and friends gathered together, followed by a champagne toast to each other.
She also loved to travel, having been in all but three of these United States. She had been in 25 countries from Australia to Uzbekistan, some of them several times. A favorite place was New York City which she visited often, frequently alone and sometimes with others.
Donna was a member of American Ballet Theater, American Mensa, Friends of the Historical Museum at Fort Missoula, Friends of Montana Public Television, the Metropolitan Museum of Art, Missoula Symphony Association and the University Congregational Church.
Donna was preceded in death by her parents and all of her siblings. Her husband, Ed Heilman, died in 2018.
She is survived by her grandsons Jesse and Matthew Seaton, her great grand daughter, Joella Seaton and Joella’s mother Michelle Rucks.
She is survived by her children, Anne Rupkalvis and Edward Mark Heilman, both of whom she adored and was in turn adored by them. Her son in law, Jeff Rupkalvis is probably the best son in law in the world. If not, he’s certainly near the top. Certainly he is a very dear and important member of the family. Without these three, Anne, Mark and Jeff, Donna probably couldn’t have survived the last few years of her life.
Her grand daughter, Corey Elizabeth Rupkalvis, is the perfect grand daughter for Donna. Ever since Corey was a little girl, they were good buddies. When Corey was a little girl and her grandparents would go to visit, Corey would run out to the car and say “Grandma, come and read to me.” When she was older, she would again run out to the car, but then she said, “Grandma, come and listen to me read.” Their favorite spot was Barnes and Noble Book Store where each one got to buy a book, after which they enjoyed a treat in the coffee shop.
Donna was delighted when Corey married Jacob Rough and he became a very welcome member of our family.
Her grandson, Daniel Elliott Rupkalvis, is a very dear prize. He has matured into a good example of what a man should be: honest, competent, hardworking and also lots of fun. He is a good husband to Courtney and  a wonderful father to Elliott Daniel, Ava Marie, Emma Rae and Brea Lynn.
A celebration of her life will be at the University Congregational Church at  3:00 PM, November 5th, 2023, with a time to gather to follow at the church. Interment for her and Ed will be at 1:30 PM, November 13th at the Missoula Veterans Cemetery.

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Donna Heilman Obituary | Just Cremation